Parent Fitness Training® is based one powerful axiom: “If you change the parent’s reaction, you change the child’s behavior.” Parenting skills are not intuitive, they are learned. Not everyone who seeks counseling needs therapy. Most parents simply need to be educated about what they don’t know, not analyzed!

Parent Fitness Training® provides a proven four step blueprint for strengthening and repairing the parent-child relationship no matter how defiant your child may be. When you acknowledge the moment, you teach empathy and self-awareness. When you speak with respect, you boost cooperation, self-worth and a safe environment for children to accept feedback about their behavior.

When you enforce limits, you show your child consistency about the laws of nature, the laws of man and the laws above us all. And finally, when you show an unrelenting deep belief in your child, you are motivating him/her child to overcome their fears and self-doubt. Applied consistently, these four principles will reach the deepest parts of your child’s potential, making him or her feel: “I like who I am becoming.”

Parent Fitness Training® also draws close attention to our tone of voice and body language. Parents need to be reminded that their tone of voice is the message. Just like in music, it’s hard to listen to the words, if the melody is shrill. Parent Fitness Training® creates a family culture of truth that allows children to look at their own behavior and take responsibility. Sound too good to be true! It isn’t. Cooperation is just around the corner and soon the cycle of nag, beg and argue will become a distant memory.

Parent Fitness Training® draws close attention to our tone of voice and body language. Parents need to be reminded that their tone of voice is the message. Just like in music, its' hard to listen to the words, if the melody is shrill. Parent Fitness Training® creates a family culture of truth that allows children to look at their own behavior and take responsibility. Sound too good to be true! It isn’t! Cooperation is just around the corner and soon the cycle of nag, beg and argue will become a distant memory.

1. The Monarch Parent:

This parenting style is marked by excessive limits, strict rules, barking orders and intense yelling. Children are expected to obey blindly and promptly. They are also known as the bully parent. This style, depending on a child's temperament produces either extreme obedience and passivity or revengefulness. It can break a child's gifted spirit. At the same time, rebellion is often lurking around the corner when the parent is out of sight. The parental relationship is based on a family hierarchy with all the power of the bully parent(s) on top, and the children feeling powerless at the bottom.

Children learn that acts of power and the control of others, is the prize to be attained, Parents mistakenly believe that children who consistently express feelings is an unnecessary step in the parent child exchange. They also believe that expression of feelings ultimately leads to a more empowered child and more selfish child. The opposite is true! The monarch parenting style unwittingly teaches children to repress and detach.

In general, a child who wants lots of power, generally has a parent who also seeks power. One person cannot fight alone. When a parent learns how not to react to a power contest, that parent immediately ends the contest. The use of power only teaches children that bullying is the way to get what you want.

2. The Permissive Parent:

This parenting style allows too much freedom, lacking in proper boundaries and limits. Unlike the monarch parent, almost anything goes, including unsupervised television watching. It is an absentee parent with respect to leadership and guidance. This parent has difficulty staying engaged in the full process of academic achievement. For example, this type of parent is typically not in touch with teachers or school policy. They allow a child to fall behind in schoolwork, under the false pretense the child can not do the work. They let the child lead the charge in almost every way. The permissive parent is not aware of the daily results of unhealthy influences. What will be, is what will be. Children take over. They become empowered and think of themself as clever. Parents believe it is easier to "give in" rather than engage in the process of guiding a child to overcome difficulties. Often, these parents themselves have an underlying fear of being rejected by their child.

3. The Umbrella Parent:

This parenting style hovers over their children 24/7, signaling a lack of confidence in their child's ability. They have been called helicopter parents because of they way they hover and protect. Parents communicate to their children the clear message they are emotionally and physically fragile. This approaches robs children from developing their own identities and learning from their own mistakes. The physical and emotional umbrella is almost always open. They give their child nonstop recognition, and a false sense of importance. Parents reward NOT for achieving, but for just showing up! They are protected at every level. This is a dangerous model, which will not allow a child to genuinely test themself against the natural social and physical forces of life. Disappointment and frustration are extra difficult for these children. Parents do not teach the value of coming through the ranks. A dependent child is a demanding child. Children become Irresponsible only when we fail to give them appropriate responsibility. Parents do not understand that by making the daily task too easy, they are in fact making the daily task too hard!

4. The Chameleon Parent:

The chameleon parenting style can be compared to the weather. In other words, always changing. Rules and values are rarely the same way three times in a row. Consequences are random. The parental hammer of being "fed up" can fall at anytime. One minute mom or dad is vigilant about a rule, the next moment it is ignored. Very little is predictable. Homework, meals, being on time for school pickups, family routines, family rules, are all up for grabs. Family life feels like a moment to moment experience. Children wonder, " What mood will my mother or father be in today?" Children learn to push the limits more often, because more often the rules are not enforced. This parenting style does not teach the child the value of following through and keeping your word. Family life feels like a moment to moment experience with the child wondering, "when will my Mom or Dad explode next!"

5. The Responsive Parent:

This parenting style allows children to experience freedom within clear and consistent limits. They talk in a slower stepwise fashion, allowing the child to process what is being said, before piling on more information. These parents always provide a heads up reminder for whatever change is about to take place. Name calling or humiliation are never a part of a parents response. The process parent allows himself to get angry... but only at the behavior, not the child. Children are treated with respect, even when they misbehave. Children always know they are heard. Parents allow the expression of all feelings, but do not allow the expression of all behavior. In other words, they are careful in their response to reject the behavior, but never the child. For example, " Jonathan, there you go again! I'm sick and tired of you being a mean person. You have become a real problem." These parents put little emotional energy into their responses when their children become noncompliant and willful. Consequences are quiet and consistent! They model flexibility and patience. They integrate the four pillars of healthy parent child communication: Reflect Emotion, Talk With With Respect, Enforce Limits, Unrlententing Deep Belief In the Child.