When No Gets You Nowhere 2nd Edition
	Quantity in Basket: None Code: When-No-Gets-You-Nowhere-2nd-Edition Price: $11.00
	Quantity:
When No Gets You Nowhere 2nd Edition $11.00 plus $3.95 S&H The First 6 Years- Teaching Your Child Self Control By Mark L. Brenner This is not a book about self-esteem or the effects of saying “no” on a child’s self-worth. It is a book about teaching toddlers and children inner self-control by the way in which we tell them “no” and, more importantly, how we act when they inevitably do transgress. For a young toddler, or child, rarely does the word no just mean stop! It’ s a small word that carries with it big emotional consequences. Most words or expressions that are overused eventually lose their power and meaning. Not so with the word no. You will soon see when children are bombarded with hearing the word no, its negative effects are cumulative and become more significant and ubiquitous over time. It’ s a simple word that carries multiple subtle meanings that will follow a child outside his or her home, from classroom to classroom to every aspect of life. Perhaps it’ s ironic that all toddlers pass through a fierce “saying no” phase that reflects the intensity and duration of how and when we say “no” to them. The word no is arguably the most overused, negatively applied word in the parenting repertoire. Almost from day one (straight from the hospital), some parents believe this is the word, the only word, that will teach and stop behavior. They carry the word with them like a weapon, feeling prepared, confident, and ready to protect. “No, don’t touch that.” “No, don’t go near that.” “No, that’s not for you.” “No, don’t put that in your mouth.” Parents should understand that saying the word no frequently and too early to infants has little or no positive value in their development. As a matter of fact, over time it can diminish enthusiasm and curiosity. If you’re concerned about an infant touching something dangerous, it's best to pick the child up and place him or her somewhere safer. Don’t make a moment an event! Just acknowledge what your child is looking at and quietly change his or her direction. “I see you want to touch the stapler.” Outside of imminent or potential danger (see chapter 6), infants and young toddlers should be allowed to touch, pick up, taste, or drop objects without intervention or interruption. Their home is their laboratory. This is their primary environment, which should provide a sense of safety and confidence about exploring. Of course you must always keep a watchful eye. The wisdom of knowing when to intervene is the key here. For example, does scratching the screen door with their fingers or playing with the guard gate require intervention or observation? These are the early stages when your toddler begins to notice your trust in him by what you’re willing to let him do. (It goes without saying that expensive or favorite family objects should be put away during this stage!) When a toddler reaches for a new object, just supervise his behavior. Let him see your patience and trust. Many parents say, “I can’t let my infant or toddler throw things”; “I can’t let her run free”; “She has to learn now to respect things.” She will. The timing to teaching such lessons is key. When parents consistently interfere too quickly in their child’s play, they are sending the message, “You can’t do it, you need help.” In turn, the child may feel helpless. Solution: Look for their cue first. Likewise, a child who continues to signal for help after being frustrated and then does not receive it may wind up abandoning that activity altogether. This kind of pattern can lead to a child not wanting to complete tasks and moving from one activity to another. Even a 3-year-old would rather appear as if he doesn’t want to do something rather than being unable to do something. Armed with this kind of understanding, you can now better read your child’s expression that says, “I need help or an explanation now!” Timing is everything.